Somewhat a messed up time X.x

Well had the last 4 days off which was great, enjoyed the little extra time. Only bad thing is one of two of my closest friends is in the hospital with the doctors saying she’s got 2 weeks to a month left. She’s diabetic and has been battle cancer for the past few years and has managed to live longer than they expected, but she’s been in and out of the hospitals a lot lately and this time I don’t think she’s going to win the fight, or if anything, she really is running out of time. I’m trying to prepare and deal with the thought, and visit her when I can. I try not to do so if I have to go into work (like today) because I fear I’ll break down or wear out faster while working, but on days after work, so. I was so exhausted yesterday, but I couldn’t sleep. I’m feeling much better this morning, but I try not to think on it too much, it was hard enough to not be so spacey yesterday, that I kept taking wrongs turns or forgetting little stuff that could cause a problem, like locking my car door X.x
I’ll be visiting her tomorrow after work in the evening.

2 thoughts on “Somewhat a messed up time X.x

  1. i’m sorry to hear that. I know we don’t have much contact outside of games and WoW…but if you want an avenue and need to talk outside of that… i’m always here…

    1. Thanks, I appreciate that. Thankfully, she’s doing better for her circumstance at the moment. It was really rough for her cause the doctors were expecting her to die very soon and her mother was in the hospital with her, for a fractured hip (she also has a heart condition too). Both me and my other best friend visit her every day so far.
      What’s nutty is, on the first night, I commented how I find it odd they didn’t get her nutrients intravenously after about 2 weeks of her throwing up or not eating. My other friend wasn’t happy at the thought, as we asked about it again the second night and then she nagged the nurses through 1-2 am the next “day” after. So she finally got the nutrient bag for the IV, but the excuse from the doctor, I hear through her sister (talking with the doctor), that he tried asking about it before but the answer was so-so, then took the “decision” to give it to her… I find it odd he chose that time to finally give her such a treatment after we made some inquiry about it >:( We were not happy about it, needless to say.
      Of course, she’s been doing so much better afterwords. The doc also mentioned that she wouldn’t receive intravenous nutrient treatments once she leaves the hospital (which we are trying to inquire why not to her sis as soon as we can get in touch with her) everyone one else I talked to about that part mentioned they don’t see why she can’t have it if necessary outside the hospital. Either way, she’s improving for her situation. But we understand it’s a dire one and know she may not live as long as we’d like. But we’re still hoping she’d prove the medics wrong as usual, if anything, at least live longer than expected. She’s been near death so many times, it’s hard to keep count. The only difference this time is that she isn’t on any special treatments that could or will help “prolonge” her life. So it’s.. hard to say at any rate. I already cried a few days over this, I’m hoping to not do so again for awhile, at least. I know she’s fighting still, and I’ll fight with her as long as she’s willing to fight, but I’m also trying to be realistic about it and not expect as much. In a way that makes me feel bad as my other friend is very gung-ho about her living so much longer and I myself would love that, but if I don’t keep a realistic expectation, as my usual motto “Expect the worse, but hope for the best.”, I’ll go stir crazy, like I nearly did the first couple of days. It was tough seeing my mother cry over this as well as hearing my father was even sad. I’ve known her since 2nd grade, so she’s very much like a sister to me as my other friend whom I’ve known since 7th grade. My mother went as far as to tick me off to get my mind off my friend’s situation, which granted wasn’t a very good idea. For the most part I try to keep this issue low key to everyone else (though I mentioned it to some co-workers/manager, just incase something happens later), and in a way it helps doing this on LJ, if anything it’ll explain why I’m not updating as fast, etc. Just trying not to be a downer. But I am really feeling better now, since she’s doing “better” for the most part.

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